:)

i hope i can stand by myself  during the hardest moments, all that important for me now is 'tok'.. i must take care of her no matter how work, responsibility, relationship and surrounding people treats me

me

u

i miss the feeling that 'someone is thinking about me' i guest i should move on now... yes i've said that thousands time but i should make big step now. staring at your smiles with those stories behind hurt me... yes, u read that right.. it hurt.. A LOT..  and the fact that u don't even care bout me anymore make me sick... there is one moment where i can't hide my feelings and my tears drop slowly infront of the whole people in front off me including u, and u did nothing.. that is the moment where i found how stupid i am caring about a guy who don't care everything about me.. i hate u!!!!

u

to make u laugh,
to make u smile,
and to make u cry for joy~

:)

i wish i am invisible

:(

i hate magang alot, i hope u know what i've gone through

:(

few days left b4 going home for good but it's very tiring... erm~

:)/:(

u,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pn4eCatU_o

:)

Happy belated birthday to myself. Syukur for everything that i have gone through. Syukur for this 26 years of life. Just like few years back on the day that i've celebrate the hardship of my mother giving birth, i learn more about 'dunia'. There is another great blow for me and i did cry. 'Dunia adalah tempat untuk mencari erti hidup..my comfort sentence'. I wish everything going fine in the future. To u fwenz 'thanks for all the birthday wishes'. It is the thought that matter like always. 

me

:#

i'm still mad at him and put the blame on him, 

but i admit that he is too good for me

me

:)

happy everyday to myself~ 

me

:#

benci dengan orang yang merasa dirinya bagus dari orang lain hampir sepanjang waktu.. sekali sekala diam dah la!!!!!arghhhhh~

:(

Y org slalu cakap????>>>>cantik gila dia, putih melepak, dok berjemuq tengah panas pon putih lagi..cantik gila..
Y xda org cakap???>>>> cantik gila dia, hitam manis/ kuning langsat/ coklat terang, dok senyum nmpk mcm tahi cicak pon cantik lg...

Argh~ stress, y yg putih itu cantik? y yg ayu itu cantik? y yg jarang buat keja tu yg org suka padahal yg tangan bergherutu la yg siapkan semua hal... adeyy, dunia2. mmg saya xputih n saya xmengharapkan org puji saya sbb saya buat post nie. Jujur saya katakan yang saya dah penat dengaq ayat yang sama. Syukurlah dengan apa yg kita punya. Kamu tu cantik sebenarnya. Please nilailah orang dengan hati nuraninya.

me

:(

hp ilang. yg syg tu isi dlm hp..erm~ dah xda suma inspiring quote, paling syg bila msg from parents b4 xm yg dh 4-5 tahun simpan pon dh xda.huuuu, kenangan.

:)

sometimes we need to mess up to step up

:)

          salam everyone~  life is peaceful nowadays.. n i luv that.. every single moments dt i've been gone thru, make me a stronger person.we as human never ever know what hav God's plan for us, all we can do is try to become a better person, making the most desirable decision, n live life with full of 'iman'... sometimes i feel so  tired living in this alienate country.. can't wait to go home for good like seriously.....i dn't know how to start a conversation, how to treat people nicely n sumhow i did what i want to do instead of realized what is happening around me.... it is very weird when u r in a room that full with people but none voice heard...yeah! this is mumbling post...heeee~ when things got rough i just close my eyes n hav a positive way of thinking.. 'i've gone thru much more harder situations n so i can handling this..zhdh u can handle this'... thats the quote... there is a moments when i so insist to achieve a goal n i put my pride aside n at last i don't get what i want... i can't never believe that it is my fate.. yeah, i'm so damn a stubborn person...but now i knew the meanings of it~

:)

The Gift of Confidence


It's positive living, believing the best, expecting your plans to work out, 

It's trusting you'll find, all the answer you need, it's patience in moments of doubt.

It's thinking about an "impossible" goal and telling yourself you can do it,

Its taking the most precious dream in your heart and finding a way to pursue it.

It's knowing you have something special to offer- your own unique talents to share, 

It's taking a bright, optimistic approach that can open new doors anywhere.

Emily Matthews

thank you kak jenny :)

:(

i'm screw things up~

:(

how does it feel when u need to repronounce the same sentences for tons of times but nobody heard?

 is dis wt total ignorance is all about?

me

:)

“This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up.
 Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. 
As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. 
Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.” 

 Marilyn Monroe

:(

wonder how cruel u can be n how life have change u~

:)

life getting harder but syukur for every spirit that HE give, every moments that make me grown, every consequence that open my eyes..this only wt i've found until 25years n 9 months of life..we never know r we  still alive tomorrow... let's us syukur for everything.... u~ i never felt like this before, having u around espcly when things got rough really help..but now u've gone, forever..n i accept that.. n never being this 'tabah' before.....may this 4 remaining months of perhaps 16 remaining weeks decorating with smile no matter wt happen~ insyaallah. :)

:)

:)

:)

:)

:)

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.

Eleanor Roosevelt

:)

sebenarnya bukan mata itu yang buta, tetapi yang buta ialah hati yang di dalam dada

 al-Hajj, ayat 46

:)

syukur~ things going well... i'm so tired by the time the moon got to reach the peak level of sky...i even dn't have the desire to eat the delicious foods origin from the God's mesmerizing ocean... erm... it have been 3 days we were here..we used to live on like this peaceful 'village'.. but still there is 1 thing the keep running on my mind... i usually can't maintain my deep sleep...hope it getting better soon... life is not like what we want it to be... but at least i must try to make it better in the future.. i will.. insyaallah

:(

inner side is too weak right now.. u can hide it in front of others but not from ur own... ur desire is not important.. u not really live ur life.. ur body there but ur mind is here...how can u start a new chapter of life if the past keep hunting u??? u've make a terrible mistake zhdh.. u shouldn't start it at the first place...n now u live in a miserable condition...what u really need?..u know that.. yes u know it... it's not cost a lot... maybe few coins but it did means a world to u... yes, it did...life is not like what we think zhdh, u r a strong one..u know dt... keep holding on and this things gonna end soon... n u can smile all day long... allah maha adil.. he knows everything.. learn from your mistakes zhdh, don't repeat it...ur time will come. tabah n berusaha perbaiki diri... u should  njoy ur life now... not thinking about things that makes u cry... u cn't change the past but u can build ur own future... forget the past zhdh... please...forget the past....for ur own sake... don't cry over someone who won't cry over u, don't think over sum1 who don't think over u.....'others' don't even act like u exist zhdh...u r invisible now, yes u r.. so make 'they' invisible on ur eyes too....please zhdh..please...u getting older... u need to keep that smile on ur face instantly!!!!

:)

dunia ga segelap yang lu kira kok,

kita-kita selalu ada disamping lu terus...

mata boleh gelap,

tapi hati musti tetap terang....

taken from CINTA ITU MEMANG BUTA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOHtVhYGk6U&feature=related

Cute ja~ heeeee

:)

zhdh, you may start your day with...

http://www.study-habits.com/quote-derek-bok

practice...

http://blog.iqmatrix.com/mind-map/smart-study-habits-mind-map

and remember ... 

Study first, play afterwards

Daniel D. Palmer

:)

:)

love this piece~

http://isanam.com/scraps/miss-you/miss-you-3.jpg

:)

u~ congratz,i'm so glade that u made it,i always believe that u can~



http://photoblog.hu/images/20050922.jpg

:)

yakin dengan allah~ insyaallah~ everything gonna be just fine.. what i'm afraid of is my parent's feeling.. i wish that they don't even know that i'm having final xm so dat i may not dissapointed them.

:)

learn from the past..don't repeat your mistakes, people can say anything but they don't feel it..sabar + yakin dgn ALLAH

:)

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

:)

Insyaallah, allah sentiasa dekat... percayakan DIA dan yakin akan pertolongan-Nya... you can't fulfill everybody's need, n they can't fulfill your's too... wutever happen always think, kalau kita nak org treat kita well, kita shud treat other's well too... apa kita ckp tu doa... everyone change... don't burden yourself thinking about other's that don't think about you... sabar n tabah, you can handle this...you can't control other people mind and 'mouth'...you can't... you can explain everything to them but their way of thinking is depend on them.....life can't be free w criticism, that's life zhdh, yes that is life... you may sacrifice everything for others happiness but never ever expect them to appreciate that.... yes.... never ever.. you can be on one people side through their greatest and hardest moment, you can still spend your time to wipe their tears even you are busy preparing yourself for examination but never ever think they may do the same thing... never ever wish they will support and understand you.. but 1...ALLAH...HE is always on your side, always refer n ask his help. ALWAYS ZHDH, REMEMBER THIS!!!!!!

:)/:(

final xm start this afternoon.doakan k' hope all of us will past and graduated soon.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

:(

only few days left for final xm..i even don't have the rhythm to study...juz flip over psychiatry's notes and i realize that i'm having body dysmorphic disorder!!!! i wish my freckles gone away and my leg become the skinny one~ oh, i wish, how unthankful i am..huhu

:)

Do u know the miracles of zamzam??

ZamZam water level is
around 10.6 feet below the
surface. It is the miracle of
Allah that when Zam Zam
was pumped continuously
for more than 24 hours with
a pumping rate of 8,000
liters per second, water level
dropped to almost 44 feet
below the surface,

BUT WHEN
THE PUMPING WAS STOPPED,
the level immediately
elevated again to 13 feet
after 11 minutes.
8,000 liters per second
means that
8,000 x 60 = 480,000 liters
per minute
480,000 liters per minutes
means
that 480,000 x 60 = 28.8
Million liters per hour
And 28.8 Million liters per
hour
means that 28,800,000 x 24
= 691.2 Million liters per day
So they pumped 690 Millions
liters of ZamZam in 24 hours,
but it was re-supplied in 11
minutes only.

There are 2 miracles here, the
first that ZamZam was re-
filled immediately, & the
second is that Allah Holds the
extra-ordinaril y powerful
Aquifer for not throwing
extra ZamZam out of the
well, otherwise the world
will SINK.

It is the translation
of the word ZamZam, which
means Stop !!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! said by
Hajirah Alaih As Salaam.

Zimam is an Arabic word, it is
the rope / REIN attached to
bridle or noseband & it is
used / pulled to stop the
running animal.

Zamzam water ♥
has no colour or smell, but it
has a distinct taste.

JazakALLAH♥

taken from I Love Quran

:)/:(

I MUST CHANGE!!!!!!!!

:)/:(

u~
may u have the best and wonderful 'things' in ur life
gnna miss u
bubye

:(

my word is not important anymore...seriously missing u~ 1 step to be separated....bubye u~4ever

:(

it hurt when you have to fight it on your own and no one believe in you~

:)

i don't even regret, you no longer my friend anymore!!!!selfish you~

:)/:(

apa yg kita ckp tu doa~apa yg keluar dr mulut botol itulah isi botol~
mungkin kata-kata diungkap dengan pengaruh emosi tapi sentiasa kena ingat each conversation involve at least 2 person, dua-dua ada perasaan, dua-dua harus faham peranan masing2, mengungkapkan dengan niat membantu memperbaiki dan menerima dengan hati yang terbuka untuk menjadi insan yang lebih baik, tapi kadang-kadang it is too much from the advicer side n less from the listerner part>>> evaluate diri sndiri zhdh!!!!


zhdh

:(

Many things happen recently. It's been da first time my patient die. I can't even help her.She came with GCS 4,dilated pupil, papilledema and the sign of brain herniation.She got stoke 8 hours before admission and the pattern of the attack is quite confusing. My heart was thudding with nervousness. I ran to the depo to get the medication, ran to resuscitation room for the ventilation machine.By the time i start standing beside her with my profuse sweating,her family don't even have the chances to ask for her forgiveness. Even at the time they enter the emergency room, she can't even talk anymore. Some of them cry at that moment but still be there for her and recite prayer. I can sense that she is in pain when i inflate the sphygmo cuff.I felt terrible because make her in pain. As the time goes by and in few minuted there is heart rate rush that followed by irregular respiration. The movement of her thoracic cavity became less expanded and her body temperature became cold.All the things that left is her heart beat.With the guide of the resident, i monitored her heart beat with the use of ECG machine. First it's the time for the ventricle to pump harder. In few seconds the PQRST wave became irregular.SAN no longer show any electrical signal. For around 3 hours i stand beside her together with her family and my job right now is the wait n record the time that she die as there is no more that we can do as the family already decide to let her go. I just observe the ECG machine and some of the family member stared at me and the ECG machine curiously followed by in few time joining me observing the wave pattern. It's funny accually but i said to them just be beside her and continue recite the prayers. Then, the time come and there is no wave at all. My next job is to take her cloth off and help the nurse tie her limb. After few minutes of the declaration of her death, her body became pale like corpse. She is indeed.Reminiscent few years before, i think i can't even handle death moment, i think i would cry but now i don't. Maybe after few months dealing with people's pain , people's life make me became 'less-hearted' person. I did respect with the way she die. It's seems smooth. Maybe she was a good human being before. I wonder how my 'time' would be. I know i am not a good person. I do make mistake. I've sin . Please pray for me to change. I want to be a better person. A descent and pure person like before.

I MUST CHANGE