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inner side is too weak right now.. u can hide it in front of others but not from ur own... ur desire is not important.. u not really live ur life.. ur body there but ur mind is here...how can u start a new chapter of life if the past keep hunting u??? u've make a terrible mistake zhdh.. u shouldn't start it at the first place...n now u live in a miserable condition...what u really need?..u know that.. yes u know it... it's not cost a lot... maybe few coins but it did means a world to u... yes, it did...life is not like what we think zhdh, u r a strong one..u know dt... keep holding on and this things gonna end soon... n u can smile all day long... allah maha adil.. he knows everything.. learn from your mistakes zhdh, don't repeat it...ur time will come. tabah n berusaha perbaiki diri... u should  njoy ur life now... not thinking about things that makes u cry... u cn't change the past but u can build ur own future... forget the past zhdh... please...forget the past....for ur own sake... don't cry over someone who won't cry over u, don't think over sum1 who don't think over u.....'others' don't even act like u exist zhdh...u r invisible now, yes u r.. so make 'they' invisible on ur eyes too....please zhdh..please...u getting older... u need to keep that smile on ur face instantly!!!!